We who have got pregnant know it is a time of joy and celebration, however, a pregnancy where the baby has been diagnosed with a special condition is not an easy task for any mother. I understand because I been there when my daughter was diagnosed at 5 months of gestation with a rare congenital heart disease that would radically change the course of things. It is only natural that you feel afraid with feelings of impotence, sadness and frustration. No one is ever prepared for this kind of experiences or news, we face them the best we can with all the available resources. These cases demand bringing out the best on us for our babies too because they can feel our emotions and anxieties in the womb. This was a process of deep learning for me so here I am sharing what I consider helped me to bring more meaning to the experience of gestate a special being:
The right to everything
We decided to organize and celebrate my daughter’s baby shower for the simple reason that we both deserved it. With great emotion and affection I chose every detail for the event: ornaments, menu, games, guests and more. It was a wonderful morning surrounded by family and friends and today I remember the event with gratitude and love, and although the perspectives on my daughter’s health were reserved and unknown, it was a good decision to celebrate her arrival to earth with happiness and joy. Why not doing it? You baby deserves it all. Make sure you do everything you must do as a mother, the rest is in God’s hands. We need to enjoy our maternity since our baby is our womb, no matter what doctors forecast or their perspectives, focus on love and to give your baby all he or she deserves for his or her birth. You will not regret.
Decorating you baby’s room.
We didn’t know if our daughter would survive and come home with us, but we decided to get her room ready and wait for the best. So we painted the walls, we glued decorative silicones, we received her crib and the changing station, everything our daughter would need to come home. We filled ourselves with hope, as parents we fulfill the task of getting her room prepared to receive our daughter, I invite you to do it too. And when you do it make sure you prepare it with all your heart, get prepared for the experience God has reserved for you as a family and as human beings. Even when uncertainty seems to hinder your lives, find peace in that sun ray and hold on to it. Decorate that room, buy those baby clothes, prepare everything for your angel’s arrival.
he special condition of your son or daughter is not related to the way you love him or her. The medicines, the visits to the doctor, the worries and alarms, the medical equipment, none of these is important compared to the deep and unconditional love experience you will live with your baby, no matter what the duration may be. You will love his or her symptoms, characteristics and imperfections just because this baby is your true love. Like every other mom with healthy children, just the same way you will love your special baby and this might be the miracle you are not expecting. Prepare yourself!
I love you, I release you
I knew that my daughter’s heart could stop in any moment while in my womb due to her heart disease, with pain I learned to release the one thing I loved the most. It may sound harsh but is a healer truth, the life growing inside you is not yours, it doesn’t belong to you, none of us have control over our lives. Take care of yourself and do what you must do during your pregnancy but be aware that your baby’s destiny is already happening and it will as it should be. Love him or her deeply and at the same time, release, let life happen for your baby and for you. Set him or her free of your expectations and demands, accept your baby just like he or she is.
This is not a sad phase in your life, conversely, is a loving and teaching experience because life is beautiful just as it is and how it is. Embrace reality with tenderness and acceptance, you both deserve it.