God and the NICU

Present and attentive of you

April, 2020

I found myself face to face with Him without any warning, I found myself feeling His presence, as if He was by my side while I looked at my daughter powerless and sad when she was delicate. So many feelings went through me that made me weak and in the middle of hopelessness and defeat, I felt it. Suddenly it came to me in the form of understanding, an awakening to the truth of infinite love, but not in the way we expect it. And then I comprehend that His love for my daughter and myself was immense, perfect. That it was His will that we were right there in that moment, in that place, both of us and that I should trust everything was predicted, attended.

Unexpected miracles

I was hoping for a miracle for my daughter’s heart, instead I received a renovation of my faith. It changed my thinking from fear into love, my despair into trust. I understood we both have been specially chosen to transit this journey together, as souls who needed to learn from each other, but above all to learn from God. Suddenly I felt the need to sing to my daughter biblical psalms and songs from the Holy Spirit, I listened to my own voice resonating on my daughter’s ears in that cold room, it filled me with peace and strength as time went by. I saw in her a marvelous creation of God, perfect as she was, with that Ebstein Anomaly that made her heartbeats imperfect, insufficient. You have also been chosen by God and your baby to escort him in his story, to love him unconditionally being aware of the fact that He loves him even more, much more.

Share your faith

I deeply respect all beliefs and whichever yours is, hold on to it. Speak to your baby about universal love or the love of God, read out loud psalms or gospels that vibrate on you, sing and tell your baby about the miracles humanity has witnessed. Do not take this experience as a divine punishment or a negative karma, it is simply the story of your baby and you are witness to it, you will help with all your heart but respect his destiny.

I found this phrase in one of the books that changed my life written by Simone Troisi y Cristiana Paccini:

“In families, when children arrive, in times they are relied to us for a few months or years, but this does not mean you will love them less. On the contrary, you have the duty to take care of them with even more love, to leave in them the memory of the love God wanted to give them through our gestures. Thus, we have to honor such a great assignment”.

Hallelujah

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