A miracle is what I have lived during these three years and two months in which I witnessed that angels do exist, and I have the privilege of being a mommy of one of them. Three years that have not been easy, three years in which I experienced the greatest pain a human being could possibly ever live, months in which I learned how to love with my soul and to feel loved from afar. The first months are the toughest: the anguish, the guilt, the fear of thinking “what would have happened if…”; the thousands of questions we make life such as “why me?” The fear of being judged, of not knowing what to say or what to do, of those awkward questions. The days pass and it seems to hurt even more, and it does, it hurts so much more. But at the same time, the days pass and bring you answers once you’re at peace with yourself and you can give that love, and start to feel that they are there, that they haven’t left nor will they ever leave; it’s incredibly magical: a true miracle.
Today I want to be the voice of those mommies who can’t speak to other people who haven’t been through this process and who don’t understand that for us it’s important to name them, to love them because we feel proud of being angels’ mommies; we’re not alone mommies.
Thank you for sharing with the Phoenix Mothers Community, it is enriching to learn from one another, to know that many of us are chosen around the world to live a special motherhood that brings with itself great gifts and learnings. Allow yourself to discover this vision of love.